I set my timer for 22 minutes and sat on my fluffy rug against my bed. Rooted down through my sit bones, and lifted up through my spine. Started to feel the expansion. But my mind wouldn’t shut up. I did three rounds of alternate nostril breathing to center a bit more. Thought of Erich Schiffman’s “taking the lid off” imagery, and breathed up from the base of my spine to the crown of my head a few times. Up to the top fontanelle. Imagined the top of my head opening, the lid coming off. Yet thoughts kept distracting that elevation. Wanting to move. Trying to sit completely still and resist movement. Thinking of my class tomorrow, wanting to go to the Farmer’s Market in Salt Lake, thinking I should go to the one in Provo, unless i go to Sarah’s class this morning after all, but I should stay home and do my own practice and plan my Sunday class. Thinking about gathering elements for today’s collage, remembering the box of supplies, and how I should be working on my freelance projects, wondering if we are having a discussion tomorrow for namaste book club, remembering I need to pick my edition of Hatha Yoga Pradipika so I can get started on that for next month’s discussion, and it just doesn’t stop.
thinking.
judging.
wishing.
Then one thought came into my head and I felt so much want. And consciously noticed the difference between wanting and having, and suddenly I felt my heart open. I felt energy in my palms. I felt surrounded by so much love. Almost held. Then the tears started. And Pooka walked over and sat in front of me and started crying herself (it’s really an anxious whining), along with gently scratching at me with her paw.
I realized I don’t need to want. I have. I felt so much gratitude.
beautiful moment. thank you for sharing it, jodi.